I've been on my spiritual path for quite sometime now, it began when I got sober in 2009. My "window" opened up as they say in AA and I knew it was time to change my life. Since then I have dedicated my life to the development of my own spirituality, wellness and the service of others. It didn't happen overnight, it's been a nine year journey which has been filled with highs and lows, I have nothing but eternal gratitude for it.
For the last year I have dove head first into my spiritual growth with a new verve, studying with everyone and anyone who crossed my path that could add to my enlightenment.
My life seemed filled with love and faith, every day I woke with grateful.
On April 18th I came home after a long work day and amazing yoga class at Citizen Yoga feeling sore yet rejuvenated. My boyfriend/partner/person of almost three years advised me that he was no longer sexually in love with me and wanted our relationship to end. We lived together in a house he bought and we worked on restoring, investing into the rehab of the duplex.
To say I was shocked would be an understatement, I thought it was a joke to be honest. I had considered our relationship one of the greatest relationships I could ask for in my life, one filled with respect, honestly, security, understanding and so much love. We had worked together as a team in the last year to repair and strengthen us after a he broke up with me on almost the exact same date in 2017 for what I think might be the exact same reason. We even took to saying "It's amazing I love you more than I did last year ." A reminder of how much we had grown together. Apparently that wasn't enough for him and he removed me from his life in a quick 15 minute discussion.
This blog is not about love lost. This blog is not about anger, resentment or hate. It's about recovery, spirituality, stress relief and how we can rebound from situations which used to baffle us. My approach is loving kindness, because that is how I choose to live my life.
Within days I have moved out of the house, sold many of my belongings that were only curated to make our home a more cozy and welcoming place and I'm currently being supported by a network of friends around the world, as well as the generosity of ladies who have given me shelter this past week.
In 10 days I will take a road trip, I will meditate to connect myself to god, I will ask for signs and answers on where my life is supposed to go now, I will practice loving kindness, as hurtful and harmful thoughts appear I will replace them with good wishes and prayer.
This is who I am. This is how I choose to live my life and keep my faith, this is not the first time I have been challenged, but it is the first time I have been challenged and choose to move through it with grace and love.